Rambles & Immediate Goals

Rambly post….

Sometimes life just gets going so fast that I lose my place. I simultaneously feel like I’m juggling a million things while I also feel that there just isn’t that much going on in my life.

My typical day starts out with waking up, getting ready for work, taking my daughter to preschool, going to work, working, running after-school rehearsals, then picking up my daughter, and either we go home or we go to her piano lesson or dance class.

After we get home for good, then it’s time to unload all of our stuff (lunch boxes, her artwork, my work), figure out what will happen for dinner and then make it, then eat and then start L’s bedtime routine.

After L is in bed, then H & I sit on the couch with Netflix on, and we both do work and talk until around 10:30, when we get ready for bed.

On the weekend, we generally get up kind of early (because L wakes up), and we get breakfast around. We do some work while L plays… then she usually gets in the mood for a video, then we have lunch, and then she has a nap. While she naps, we watch Netflix and do work. Then after she wakes up, we play, then get dinner ready, then the bedtime routine, and then Netflix/work again.

I will say that the last three weekends, we’ve done some activities on Saturday. We have gone to the park on two Saturdays, and one Saturday we went to the bounce house, which was expensive but awesome.

In between the working is applying for jobs, catching up on Facebook, tickle fights, going to the grocery store, snuggling, coloring and drawing, sometimes practicing piano… and don’t forget, checking Mint.com to make sure that we’re not going to run out of money by the end of the month. I’m not sure what I would do with “free time” – maybe I purposely fill up my time so I always feel like there’s something I should be doing?

I know that there are definitely some things that have fallen by the wayside. I don’t exercise at all anymore. We don’t meal plan. I rarely talk to my far-away friends and family on the phone. I don’t read much (except for the one book a month for my book group).

I don’t know that this side hustle is what is dominating my time. I’d surely be doing something else with my time … probably just reading Facebook or Feedly or whatever else captures my attention.

So, I’ve established a few goals that I want to work on immediately this week:

– Meal plan at least three meals a week

– Establish Family Game night on Wednesdays after dinner

– Practice piano with L every night after dinner (except Wednesdays)

– Get outside and take walks with L (this hits family-time and exercise (sort of)) at least once a week, now that the weather is nicer

– Establish one time a week (even if just for an hour), where H and I spend time together when we’re NOT keeping one eye on a computer screen for work

I’ve already done the meal planning for this week (planned four meals), so there’s that.

Sometimes I just feel truly overwhelmed and don’t want to do anything. Cleaning has gone by the way-side… I need to put that back in my goals sometime! Other times, I get extremely motivated and want to just do EVERYTHING AS FAST AS POSSIBLE and I’m like a whirlwind. I feel really good at the end of those days. I love feeling like I’ve gotten things accomplished. I would rather feel like that than unmotivated and downtrodden. (Applying to job after job, never getting an interview, and constantly re-evaluating your strategies will do that to you!)

Am I the only one? Do we schedule ourselves to be so busy on purpose so we don’t have to deal with “free time”?

– M.

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